belated follow-up

it's been almost a month & i'm just now getting to it, but better late than never. the following is the post i promised, the one from my blog on MySpace.

a new year usually brings excitement, resolutions, chances to change things & the desire to look at everything in a new light. in January, i felt like maybe there would be great chances for me to "fix" my life. since i've been back home, it seems like my life has be on a downward spiral & i have no motivation to continue as i did when i was happier. i finally set out to do something that has been on my heart for so long; finally thought i was taking this big step. -SSS- was going to be my fight for the souls of young people here in Harlingen, it was supposed to be me obeying my Father & following His voice. it all started out so enthusiastically - showed great promise. i spoke to a few bands who were very encouraging. i shared my vision, my desire, with others in hopes that their support would be enough for me to continue fighting & pushing forward. now, here we are, starting September with still nothing but the ghost of -SSS- and a seemingly empty shell of a warrior.

family isn't sharing a last name or blood, it's anybody that is loving and comprises a support system. unfortunately, my family isn't being very supportive lately. i feel as though when i left Dallas, i left behind my true family. the young people i met up there were very supportive, always letting the Lord guide their love for others. it's been a while since i've spoken to any of them. now, it feels as though i have nowhere to turn for support. sadly, this has caused a depression to grow inside of me. former desires have disappeared. i don't want to do anything i used to enjoy doing. nor do i look for a place where i "belong" anymore. but every now & again, i get a tug in my heart that reminds me of old thoughts, feelings, desires. somewhere inside of me, i know there's a reason i'm here AND i know there is something i will do because it has already been written. but still, it's hard not to wonder why i have yet to make a move or why i don't have the support to keep going. maybe it's not the right time, but is it SO horrible that i want it to be now?!

reading over this, it's hard not to see that the word "I" is used far too many times. how awful is that?! this has turned into a bruised ego complaining.

but is needing encouragement necessarily an ego-trip?
well, the way i see it: encouragement is necessary for growth. growth is good for everybody. the more one person grows, the more they can help others to grow as well.

so... where is the encouragement when it's needed? maybe in self-examination. maybe in seeking & listening to God. maybe in talking to old friends, former supportive pillars in your life. where ever it is, look for it & hold on as long as possible! but most importantly, dont forget to BE encouragement for others!

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it's amazing how reading over my old posts brings up so many crazy feelings.
started feeling sick late Monday & still not feeling much better. but hopefully it'll go away soon & i will be clear-headed enough to write a new post.

mini-update

so... as it turns out, i didn't make it out to Rock It Fest in June. it was upsetting because i had been looking forward to it for months & i thought it would be some great spiritual kick in the pants. of course, nobody can know how any event will effect them. but i was really hoping that this one would be at least a nudge in the right direction, one that was much needed. sad to say, my dad was traveling so much for work that he wasn't up to a trip to Robstown... even if it was so important to me. even more sad, there is no way my parents would've been okay with me driving up AND staying overnight by myself.

maybe it was the missed opportunity for a mini-spirit revival, or maybe it was just my inner depressive state, but in these last couple of months i have only been slipping further down the hole. about 2 hours ago, i was so troubled by my lack of encouragement that i felt it was blog-worthy. took a while to write, as always, because things things just evolve on their own as i'm typing. maybe after i've gotten some sleep, i will repost it here. it became an almost whiny blog of a very hurt ego, but it made me really look at myself and realize that it's not all about me!

once again, the seasons are changing. it'll soon be fall. this week, classes at UTPA start up. i'm at least semi-excited about going back to school. this will be the best semester schedule i've had & hopefully the most fun. maybe i can really get excited about school this time. maybe i can get back to a regular exercise routine. maybe i can re-involve myself with campus groups. maybe i can find encouragement in an unexpected place and i will be revived. one can only hope.

PRAYER WARRIORS NEEDED!!!
please be praying for me. not only do i secretly want to come alive again but i NEED it. i don't want to see my dream (-SSS- ministry) float away. it would also benefit the young people in my area to have somebody care for them so much as to bring a ministry like this to them.

it's summer time! it's a new season!!!

it's been a while since i've posted & a new post is most definitely passed due! i won't attempt to make up for lost time because that would be ridiculous & exhausting. instead, i will try to give a quick run-through of why i seemed to disappear.

things weren't exactly panning out or moving forward like i'd hoped back in February, so needless to say, i was easily distracted from working on building this ministry. i had applied to work on the 2010 census & they finally called me up. the positions are all temporary, so i figured it would be good to show my parents i was actively seeking employment rather than being a lazy homebody. unfortunately, this job was a full time spot that kinda wore me out a bit. originally, i had every intention of renewing at the end of my certification period... but i got sick within the last few days of my employment so i decided to resign. it was some type of flu, but not swine. the actual flu part only hit me a few days, but it took a couple of weeks for me to get rid of all the coughing & soreness of throat. so i spent most of April sick & trying to get back to my previous state of health. by the time May came around, i was in a bit of a funk. anhedonia settled in, leading me to go back to sleeping late, waking up to only waste my day watching tv & movies, playing on the internets, and not even really talking to people. the only the that really kept me from falling into a deep pit of depression was my brand new bicycle. it was my mother's day gift & it made me feel like a kid again. it's only been about a month now, but i've been trying to take it for a ride at LEAST 2-3 times a week. the fresh air it gave me was sweet. the time to myself was amazing. even if i only rode a short distance, it made me feel free. (now i want to go ride my bike!) but still, nothing could be more sweet or amazing or freeing than the feeling i had last night... in this very room actually. yesterday, i started summer school. only one class this time, but still every day. Mondays & Tuesdays my sister has workshops to attend just down the block from campus, so we carpool. my class is in the afternoon, her workshop in the evening. so i'm here in time for class, then i get about 4 hours to just hang out in the nursing lounge (because it's quieter in here). with Rock It Fest in Robstown being a few days away, my thoughts rushed back to this ministry i so eagerly began half a year ago. i decided to try picking back up where i left off & not letting anything be an excuse to hold it down... not even school. last night, i decided to check MySpace to get some information. what i discovered was a simple comment posted a whole 2 months ago by a band i hope to work with some day. it was so encouraging. it inspired me to post a blog, so i did. i thought about reposting it here, but it's kinda long (like this one) & a little bit random. but today, i felt a different blog would be better suited for this site. and here we are. if you'd like to read the one from last night, you can find it here --> blogs.MySpace.com/SSSshows

this post started out as a sort of intro to the myspace post from last night, but the Lord lead me in a different direction. that post actually has some pretty good stuff in it & doesn't go into as much detail on my "hiatus" as this one did. read it if you've got time, i'd really like to get some feedback.

technically, we haven't gotten into summer just yet, but most of us see it as summertime already. and as the title says: it's a new season! a new season in my spiritual life. and i'm determined to work hard at keeping it from going dormant again. be praying, as this is sure to upset the Enemy, who will undoubtably try to stop me from growing & helping others to grow.

pray for the bands

here's a short list of bands i love who need a little help. how can you help? PRAY! pray that they find what they're looking for to fulfill their needs. also, if you happen know of somebody who can help, please forward them the info. (i've provided links to each band's myspace profile. check their blogs for more info.)

ILIA (http://twurl.nl/1g34s3) - looking for female lead singer

Obscurity, @Obscuritymusic, (http://twurl.nl/4wyjxp) - looking for new vocalist

Philmont, @PhilmontRock, (http://twurl.nl/1qtywa) - looking for new drummer

A Bullet for Pretty Boy, @abfpb, (http://twurl.nl/m8o0a0) - has travel trailor for sale

*note: Twitter names in white.

ABC support = :-)

a few days ago, i finally got a hold of my dad's cousin. as it turns out, he's kinda the youth director at his church. which happens to be a church my family has attended for decent spurts of time in my past. i approached him with my plans for -SSS- shows & he said that he could get the annex for me anytime i need to use it. what a blessing! i get super nervous when discussing this awesome new adventure, so i was kinda shakey as i talked to him & his wife about it. but they were sooo supportive! guess i'm not the only one who recognizes the need for a ministry like this in our town. he also added that he's trying to find local churches that would be willing to work together & if the pastors get together for a meeting, he would let me know so i can attend & present my idea to them. it would be great to get in on something like that! hopefully, that would get the word out & i'd make more contacts wanting to work with me... i was super excited, as well as more strongly motivated, after talking to my (distant) cousin & his wife!

keep this ministry in prayer! i don't want it to take a backseat to less important things.

-SSS- shows coming soon!

this ministry has been in the works for about a year now & i'm finally doing something to get going with it! my previous post has the full story if you're interested in the background details. here's an explanation of what -SSS- shows is all about...

(-) i will be organizing Christian concerts for the youth of Harlingen as well as the surrounding areas. my "target audience" will be anybody in the age range of 13-30 in Harlingen. all shows will be held in Harlingen unless requested in nearby towns such as San Benito, Rio Hondo, La Feria, etc. also, they will be "all ages" shows as everybody is welcome. entire families are encouraged to come out & enjoy the shows together.

(-) my goal is to work with many youth groups in the Harlingen churches to bring them fun shows & introduce them to some amazing Christian bands. i hope to be able to minister to the youth in my area by sharing God-glorifying music.

(-) another major goal is to help out the Christian music scene in this area grow. most of the musicians that come down to the Valley only play in the McAllen area which makes it difficult for those of us in the Brownsville-Harlingen area to attend. the jr high & high school kids who don't drive can't make it to shows that are an hour's drive away. and for those of us who are older & can drive ourselves, it's not always practical to make the trip just to see a concert. vehicular maintenance isnt cheap. we have to pay for gas & be sure our rides are in safe condition for the trip. and not to mention the loss of time due to travel. by bringing good shows to Harlingen, more young people in this area are able to attend.

(-) the bands i will be supporting are those who aren't super well-known. i just can't afford to bring in the big names like tobyMac (although i would really love to some day!) for now, i'd like to focus on Texas bands. i'm starting out with those local to the Valley, Corpus, San Antonio & will most definitely be getting some bands i know that are from the Dallas area. (i used to live up there & still consider those bands local to me) since most of the bands i plan to work with are smaller, i will do whatever i can to help them out when they come down. if they need a place to crash, food to eat, help with merch tables, setting up/tearing down, pretty much anything, i'm will to help however i can & hope that i can find others in the area that will also help where they can.

currently, i'm trying to set up my first show for spring break. aiming for either Monday or Tuesday evening. i will post details as soon as something is set in stone. blog updates will be posted as soon as possible so keep an eye out!

**please note that "Harlingen" also includes Combes & Primera**

the birth of -SSS- shows

i guess the seed was planted when i was living in Dallas & met this amazing young lady named Damaris. she is a chick i was able to get along with from the beginning! (which, for me, is kind of a big deal) her outgoing, friendly nature drew me in & i feel so blessed to have her friendship. she told me about how she & her friends were named the Diehards. then she kinda explained what they do, how they try to bridge the gap between bands & their fans. it sparked my interest. it made me think that's something i'd love to do! if only i wasn't so shy...

in May of 2008, i moved back home with my parents in Harlingen & my thoughts of diehard-ing diminished. for a while, i was in a bit of a funk. it was like i'd hit a plateau. then i had the opportunity to travel to Houston for Winter Wonder Slam 2008! (early December) i was so excited! it was supposed to be an amazing, life-changing experience for me, but it didn't happen the way i'd hoped. don't get me wrong now, the concert itself was amazing! even got autographs from Family Force 5. but other than the concert, the rest of the trip was basically a major let down.

about 3 months later, (March 2009) the Keep Breathing Tour came down to the Valley (Mission, to be exact). i was excited because i would get to see Philmont... live! that was the only band (of 4) that i was familiar with so i had to go check them out. my cousin went with me & we had a blast. after that experience, i decided i wanted to bring them back down to the Valley but to my neck of the woods. for a few days after that show, i was talking about how much i'd absolutely love to bring bands down to Harlingen, not only so i could go to the shows, but so i could share them with the kids in my areas. since i was in school at that time, this was all just a dream - something nice to think about doing some day - but it was never an actual plan to do anything.

skip ahead to January 2010. i saw a tweet by my good friend Damaris that some friends of hers, Outside the Camp, would be traveling down to McAllen for a concert. i decided that if i could get some house work done & convince my parents to let me go to McAllen on a Saturday night by myself, i would go to support the band. that morning, i see another tweet by Damaris that she was in town with the band! i was so excited at the prospect of getting to see her after so long! to my surprise, it didn't take any convincing at all for my parents to let me go. it was a great show & even better because Damaris was there... i was higher than a kite that night!

the next day, i was talking to my parents about the night & without me saying anything my dad suggested i become sort of a music promoter. maybe he remembers all my talking from last year. but it was so uplifting to get his unsolicited "go-ahead" on this thing. we talk a LOT about it with no opposition from my mother & the fire in me was reignited. he said i shouldn't wait & to really get going on this thing, so i am. as of this week, i'm celebrating the birth of -SSS- shows!